Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
