You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
