She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
