hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
