just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
