There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
