The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
