I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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