Quick, to the slutcave!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
