kristin has been a bad kristin
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
