census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
