so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
