remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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