Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
