just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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