oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
