We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
