If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
