You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
her facebook's as public as her vagina
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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