U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
