I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
