Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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