Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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