and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
