To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
