Already got asked if we're dating
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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