sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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