How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
