Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
