you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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