I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
