You're so nebulous sometimes
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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