just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
