You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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