Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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