i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
