): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
