1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
