The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
