I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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