her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
