I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
