I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
