you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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