Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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