what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
