you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
