bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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