I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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