I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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