why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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